THE DEVIL'S TRAP

Just yesterday, many people are saddened when the news about the 17-year-old SPM candidate committed suicide broke out. When I first come across the news article, there’s just one question in my mind: “Why?”

            I can’t stop but just try to figure out why and what could have gone through his mind that makes him end his life. Is it really because of the difficult questions from the Additional Mathematics or are there some other reasons that we will never understand?

            To be honest, whenever I see news about students committing suicide, I understand why they will make such a move and at the same time I do not understand why. I understand that it is because of circumstances that forced them into one dark corner and the only solution they could think of to end all this is to end their life. The thing that I do not understand is, why choose suicide as the problem solver?

            Please do not get me wrong, I am not trying to blame or disrespect anyone. What I want to say is if you are having a hard time in life, suicide is not the ONLY solution, my friends. Even though you are having a hard time, trust me, it will not last long. Instead of saying that I overcame the challenges that I face, I will just say that I looked into the bright side of life. In another words, I avoided them. Obviously avoiding is not a good solution as well. It is the last resort and the easy way out. I always believe that challenges are part of life. It is what makes life interesting. Don’t you think so?

            I have to admit, I am not a smart or hardworking student at school. Even though my parents ‘begged’ me to study, I will just nod and get away with it with a scolding later on. I am a stubborn person and ignorant, in a way. I bring my phone to school every day since Form 2. I even got the guts to skip class almost every day since Form 4 to hang out quietly in one corner in the school compound. You must be thinking: “Aiya, you’re enjoying life, of course you won’t have much challenges that some students out there face la.”

            Do you really think that people that go against the rules does not have any stress? Come on, everyone have their own sets of challenges that other people will not understand because you are not in their shoes. In fact, you can NEVER be in their shoes. Think about it, if you have met me for just one year, do you think you will be able to understand my whole life and how I felt in my 19 years  of life just because you walked the path with me for one whole year? No. Do not forget that everyone is born with their own sets of feelings as well. You can never COMPLETELY understand how a person feel at all times.

            Let me tell you my challenges from the stupid things I had done. Yes, it is stupid and I regret it now. I could have done so much better in my studies but well, thanks to puberty, I made my life much more interesting. I always have this good girl image in front of my parent’s eyes, in order to not hurt them because of my own actions, I have to always make up stories or always be alert of my surroundings every time I do something bad. You will not understand the stress that can come from your parent’s questions like: “So how’s tuition/school today?” It is stressful because every time they ask questions like this, I will be thinking if they had found out that I lied to them. Then, thinking how to reply in an I-did-not-do-nothing-wrong manner is not easy, for me. Moral of the story, do not lie. To keep up to all your lies is not easy and what is so good about that? A quote from Mark Twain says it all: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

Yes, no doubt that the memories created during secondary school days are the best for me, but it does not mean that I never faced any challenges in life. The one I mentioned is just part of the challenges that I had face. Come to think of it, many of those challenges are the best memories that I will never forget my whole life. It all goes down to the mindset of how we get through things.

            I may not face the challenges that all of you faced, I am no psychologist as well, but I can surely say this. If you have a problem, talk to somebody, talk to yourself in the mirror or cry in the shower or in bed. Find a way to get through it, whatever it is, it all helps. Do not give up halfway, be patience and wait for the miracle to happen. Most importantly, maintain a strong mentality at all times and stay away from all the suicidal thoughts that you come across. Do not fall into the trap of the devil in you.